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Ugh | cmonroe88's Blog


I am so tired of being by myself and alone...I don't know what to do. I really for the longest time I thought I was ok and moving on but I met this stupid fucking guy who made me really like him by being just awesome and then he turned out to be a huge dick and now I am back to where I was and it just brought up all the feelings I thought I fought so hard to get past. I just started crying out of no where...I can't stop. What the hell. I swear to God it better be hormones from my fucking period because if that asshole got me pregnant I will just be even more fucking mad and crazy.  I am just sad....a sad pathetic girl with a foul mouth who just wants to be in love and have someone love me back.....is that so much to ask? I don't know what to do with my life anymore. School starts soon and I am excited for that but....I really just want to be loved...I planned my life around someone who walked out of my life a year ago and I am still in shambles no matter what I try to do. Nothing helps me feel better, I don't want to do anything, I just want someone to love me....Oh my gosh how many times does that run thru  my head a day, oh try a million. I am just so sad....I can't stop crying, I am just repeating myself but I can't help it.....What's wrong with me....I don't want to be alone....I have my friends and my family but I want someone to be with, I want a real loving respectful, caring relationship.....I keep telling myself God has his plan for me and right now this is it...the right person just isn't in my life yet but when will they be? I want it now. I can't find a job or a good guy or make myself happy. I have thought about doing the worst for the longest time. I tried to this summer, I thought I was thankful my friend found me and made me throw up for hours but now I'm not.....I'm thankful I have people who care about me but I don't want to be here anymore, I am constantly sad and depressed....I can't get happy. If I can't fix it soon....I don't know what I will do.

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Previous Posts
Ugh, posted January 26th, 2013
Homeopathic Remedies now, debauchery laters, posted January 24th, 2013
Wednesday- Advice please!, posted January 23rd, 2013
Tuesday-left the house before posting. sorry, posted January 23rd, 2013
Monday, posted January 21st, 2013, 2 comments

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